TOP 10 CASINO GAMES*

My mother often tells me that I come from a long line of gamblers. I must admit that I am no different. In my spare time, whenever I’m not on video games or doing work, I like to hop on online Blackjack. However, I do wonder what the other games are like. To answer this question, I played the online, no-money-involved versions of popular casino games for 2 weeks and ranked them in the top 10 from least to greatest to answer that question.

–==[GODAWFUL]==–

10. Slot Machines – Dear God, where do I even start? Slots don’t take any skill whatsoever. The way it’s played is that you put in your bets, give it a spin, and if you get a row of specific symbols, you get a set amount of points. The only real strategy is checking out the winning odds. The simplicity is it’s reason why it’s popular with old folks. Some machines can have complications like free spins, but we’re playing the no-nonsense Slots here. One good thing I can say about Slots is that there’s an infinite amount of them, so you have some variety going. It’s also a great minimal brain usage time-waster.

9. Punto Banco – Also called Baccarat. The goal is to get no more than 9 points with no less than 2 cards and no more than 3. Players can bet on “Banco”(Banker), “Punto”(Player), or a tie. The cards are drawn like so: 1st and 3rd cards are for your side, and 2nd and 4th cards go to the banker’s side. If the first 2 cards of yours or the banker’s side add up to the total value of 8 or 9, no more cards are drawn. I put it here because it’s just an entirely luck-based game, and it’s not even fun. The rules were simple, but that didn’t make it any more fun.

8. Roulette – The cooler cousin of Slots. The way it’s played is first, players bet “Inside,” which is betting on the exact number the ball will land on or a small group of them adjacent to each other on the board, or “Outside,” which bets on a larger group of numbers based on their color and if they’re even or odd. The bets are then closed, the dealer gives the wheel a spin, and whichever number and color the ball lands on is the winning one. The game then restarts. I placed it here since it’s another luck-based game and the way it’s played makes it so that there’s no strategy to be used.

7. Casino War – It’s literally just the game war but casino-fied. Cards are ranked the same way they are in poker games, with the ace being the highest. After making bets, you and the dealer simply play war. If your card is higher than the dealers, you win the wager you bet and vice versa. When a tie happens, you can either “surrender” and lose half your bet, or you can go to war where you double the stakes, and then the game repeats until someone wins. Now, this game’s popularity has gone from the gutter to the trashcan, as it was nearly impossible to find an online version of this game that didn’t require me to throw down some bucks. If you want to play War, just play the regular version, as there’s no point in playing the casino version.

–==[WHATEVER]==–

6. Pai Gow Poker – The American version of Pai Gow where instead of Chinese Dominoes, cards are used. The objective is to create a five-card poker hand and a two-card poker hand from seven cards that beat both of the bank’s hands. The five-card hand must be larger than your two-card hand, and there are no betting rounds. Now, this is a largely luck-based game, and it could be just because I suck, but I couldn’t win for anything, and I had little to no fun playing it. However, reading up on the game’s origins for this was quite a pleasant short history lesson.

5. Three Card Poker – Three Card Poker is another Poker variant that is played like so. After the ante wagers are set, 3 cards are dealt to the players and the dealer. Players can then fold or continue by placing a “play” wager equal to their ante. After that, the hands are then exposed and the wagers are paid out. If your playing hand is better than the dealers, you get paid 1 to 1 on the play bet, and at a minimum, you’ll get paid 1 to 1 on your ante assuming that the dealer “qualifies” with a queen or higher. Now, this game is pretty decent, as the rules were straightforward, but the gameplay was rather slow-paced. It’s also more towards the luck-based side, so gameplay is just you sitting there wondering what the dealers hand is and if you should fold or not. As you can imagine, that became monotonous very quickly.

4. Five Card Draw – Five-Card Draw is another poker variant, and is widely considered to be the most simple variant. The first betting round starts with the player to the left of the big blind (seating arrangement term) and rounds after that begin with the player to the dealer’s left. In the 1st round, players are dealt five cards face down. If more than one player remains, then the “Draw” phase begins, where you can replace some cards in your hand. After the 2nd betting round, up comes the “Showdown,” where the player amongst you with the best hand wins. This game is pretty decent, as the only skill you need is to know how hands are ranked. The rest is just luck. However, because of its simplicity, there wasn’t a challenge to playing this game, which ended up with it getting old very quickly.

–==[GREATEST OF ALL TIME]==–

3. Craps – Craps the game famously known as the game where you throw the dice. The way that this is played is that one player, known as the “shooter,” throws two dice at the table. All bets must be placed before the shooter throws the dice. Many different types of bets can be made, and they all depend on what number the dice roll to. Despite it being luck-based, it is quite fun as it’s pretty high-energy and fast-paced depending on where you play it. I wouldn’t recommend playing it online, as a lot of the high-energy and fast-paced factors of the game are lost. It’s pretty easy to play in real life especially with simplified betting rules, as all you need is two dice and something to use for points.

2. Texas Hold ‘Em – Texas Hold ‘Em is the most popular variant of poker and also my favorite poker variant. If you’ve played Red Dead Redemption, you’d recognize this as being the version of Poker used in both games. The goal is to get the best poker hand using 2 cards dealt to you and 5 face-up cards. You can check(you don’t bet), call(match the current bet), raise the bet, or fold. The game can be a bit tricky if you don’t know poker hand ranks, but the game is very accessible as there are tens of thousands of online Texas Hold ‘Em games on the web. Playing it in real life with your friends can be a bit annoying because you’ll most likely have to teach ‘em a whole list of poker hands if it’s their very first time.

And now for the one above all…

1. Blackjack – Arguably the best casino game ever to hit the tables. The game is easy to understand but hard to master. The goal is to get closest to or exactly the number 21 with your cards. Face cards are worth 10, and ace cards are worth either 1 or 11. Not only is it fun, but you can play it just about anywhere as there are also tons of online Blackjack games on the web, and to play it in real life, you just need to know basic math. Blackjack’s simplistic rules yet complex strategies along with the game’s accessibility are why this is my all-time personal favorite