Stop Objectifying Me, I’m Scared

  I feel objectified, I feel as if my body is here for the pleasure of others. When I was fourteen, a teenage boy I was close with, violated my body. I made my discomfort known, and said ‘no’ multiple times as the discomfort in my speech and body language should have said enough. 

Recently, I’ve chosen to stay in after a recent incident that has managed to hold me back from leaving my house alone. On June 2, 2019, I was being followed while I was walking home by a man and a young kid. To break down the situation, the car stopped to watch me walk. Afterwards, they drove off, and did a u-turn to then drove slowly beside me for about four minutes. 

 I dialed 911 because at this point, I was too close to home. I didn’t want to go in my house and give away where I lived. I felt trapped, and honestly I’ve never felt more unsafe. Once I had called the police, I grabbed my phone to take a picture of the license plate and in the process, the car drove off. 

“About 13 years ago, a man I sang in choir with asked for some voice lessons and at the end of his first lesson, he leaned in and tried to kiss me, claiming that he thought he had seen a spark between us.” said Elvadine, a professional vocal coach in Aurora. “Now, when a new adult male student comes for a lesson, my husband is home and visible.” 

 “Once, my boss invited me to lunch but sent me home to change because my outfit wasn’t sexy enough,” said my mother, Diane Moon. “Once, he ran his hand up my skirt to my butt.”

“My boss has always shown that I was his favorite by verbally telling me so.” said Kalin Campbell, a senior at Rangeview High School. “He’d always ask if I could stay late and stuff. He’d always refer to himself as my dad. There was one point in time when he was joking about being called daddy but it definitely wasn’t funny. “If you ever have a problem, just find big daddy,” said Kalin Campbell, a senior at Rangeview High School

  Kalin and Diane experienced harassment from their bosses. Women cannot even feel safe in their work environment. 

Both of these sexual harassment stories regarding female employees and their male bosses took place at very different times. “I was 19 when all of this happened, it was sometime in the 80’s,” said Moon. Women have yet to be respected, even at their own jobs with their own peers. “[My sexual harassment story] happened this year, 2019, when I had just turned 17,” said Campbell.  

46.4% lesbians, 74.9% bisexual women and 43.3% heterosexual women are victims of sexual violence other than rape in their lifetime. 91% of the victims of rape and sexual assault are female. Not only are women violated in work, they’re also violated in school. One in 5 women have experienced sexual assault in college. 

63.3% of men at one university self-report their acts considered as rape or attempted rape admitted to violating a woman or women. Frat houses are commonly known for spiking drinks in order to sexually harass women while they are unconscious. Women are warned when going into universities to avoid male fraternities, and the parties they host because the risk of sexual violation.

 Kalin, Diane, Elvadine, and I were affected by our experiences; the issue is not just about us, it is a societal problem, a toxic norm, that too many women are living on a daily basis. Danger is something we face when we choose to walk alone, go to the grocery store, and separate from our families and or significant other in a public place.

Stop objectifying me, because I am scared.