Homecoming Week Disney Fantasy Football

With this year’s Disney homecoming week coming to a close and after Friday’s homecoming beatdown of Hinkley High School, I wanted to end the week with my picks for a Disney character football offense. Enjoy!

QB: Mr. Incredible (The Incredibles)

Mr. Incredible has the arm, he has the brute, and he has the leadership. He always wants to do what is right, even if it’s at his own expense For Team Disney, it’s a perfect fit. 

Biggest Downside: Probably crumbles under pressure. But at least he has an arm, right?

RB: Lightning McQueen (Cars)

When I think running back, I think speed. When McQueen gets the ball behind the line of scrimmage, no one is catching him. I mean, his whole brand is speed. He is speed.

Biggest Downside: He can’t catch. Like at all.

FB: Genie (Aladdin)

Fullbacks are supposed to be big and stocky, usually used for short runs or blocking. Genie is big, but his best attribute would be his magic to stop oncoming pass rushers. 

Biggest Downside: Managing 3 wishes. What are the logistics behind wishes in a football game?

WR1: Tarzan (Tarzan)

This seemed like a no-brainer. Tarzan is athletic and built. He would be any defender in man-on-man coverage, and he can block downfield if need be. 

Biggest Downside: Mostly communicates with animal noises.

WR2: Tigger (Winnie the Pooh)

Tigger is known for his hops. Jumping is his whole deal, so you know that he’s coming down with the ball every time. No safety or linebacker is going to be able to stop Tigger on a jump ball.

Biggest downside: Will make friends with the opposing team.

TE: The Beast (Beauty and the Beast)

The Beast is absolutely huge and I want him either catching in the slot, or blocking for a good run game. The Beast is a perfect fit for someone that needs to be big, but still athletic and fast.

Biggest downside: His short temper is sure to cost a good chunk of yards in penalties.

Offensive Line: Wreck-it Ralph (Wreck-it-Ralph), Kronk (Emperor’s New Groove), Maui (Moana), Sully (Monster’s Inc), Ursula (The Little Mermaid)

All of these characters are big bodies and are no brainers for the offensive line. Wreck-it Ralph is known for how strong and reckless he is. Kronk literally carries Yzma on his back for miles, which is why he’s so strong. Maui is one of the strongest characters in all of Disney, not even taking into account all of the animals he can turn into. The dude is an animal in the trenches (possibly literally). Sully is big but also pretty agile. Remember when he was jumping across all those hanging doors? He’s perfect for protecting the quarterback. Finally, Ursula is just a giant. Not only will no one get by her one on one, but she can help others out with her long tentacles. 

Biggest downside: There’s a lot of brute, but not as much brain…

Kicker: Maximus (Tangled)

For some reason, I just feel like Maximus is a good kicker. Maybe it’s his long legs or his speed, but I think Maximus could nail a 60 yard field goal with ease. Maybe he needs a running start, but he’s the guy (or horse) for the team.

Biggest downside: Will only play for apples.

Coach: Yoda (Star Wars)

According to the lore, Yoda is 900 years old, making him one of the oldest and wisest characters in the Disney/Star Wars universe. Not sure how much about football he knows, but his training style will get the team into shape quickly.

Biggest downside: Talk like this, he will.

Ball: Flounder (The Little Mermaid, again)

No explanation needed.

Biggest downside: None.